A thought...

They say the world is broken into pieces and everyone has to find them and put them back together. But maybe we don't have to find them. Maybe we are the pieces.

Overrated (Everything Is)

I'm pretty sure I've posted the video the this song before but the lyrics are really true to how I feel. I know it's a bit of a cop-out when the 2 people that actually bother reading what I have to say see that I've used someone elses words to describe how I feel. Well these lyrics are pretty spot on. So take a read to see how and what I think/ feel at the moment...

Maybe I'm jaded and bored
Always looking for more
Wait around for the next big fix
I know I'm a wreck, I'm a mess
But I couldn't care less
Don't know what it would take to change me

Everybody's so afraid to be different
Please excuse me now if I don't get it

I think sex is overrated
So is always getting wasted
Designer drugs and dead end jobs
And classic rock is so outdated
I'm so sick of therapy
And all the things it's done to me
How can I be satisfied?
When everything is overrated

Maybe the problem is me
But I won't make believe
And I can't take this mediocrity
What if this is a test?
And I deserve what I get?
Will I wake up with all the answers?

Everybody's too afraid to be different
Please excuse me now if I don't listen

I think sex is overrated
So is always getting wasted
Designer drugs and dead end jobs
And classic rock is so outdated
I'm so sick of therapy
And all the things it's done to me
How can I be satisfied?
When everything is overrated

Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah
When everything is overrated.
Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah
When everything is overrated.

Can't stand the normal
Can't stand the ordinary
Find me anything that's extraordinary
Show me something
Show me anything
Am I the only one?
Am I the only one?

I think sex is overrated
So is always getting wasted
All my friends and family
They make my life so complicated
I'm so sick of apathy and TV show reality
How can I be satisfied?
When everything is overrated.

Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah
When everything is overrated.
Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah
When everything is overrated.

And I LOVE this song

Some lyrics that really speak to me at the moment...

If I hold on to what I've got
Make the best of everything
Even if that means that I'm not left with anything...
At least I'll have some sort of peace of mind,
Left it all behind me now,
Watched it change just to break me free

My eyes have seen better days
I wish I knew what was in store
My eyes have seen better days,
all is quiet in my heart when all I want to do is make some noise

If I just turn the key and open up the door
maybe things will be the same
Can't you see that I'm crying out for a real change?
If I hold on to what I've got,
I'll be floating on my borrowed time,
Not too long before the ocean let's me sink
To the floor

My eyes have seen better days
I wish I knew what was in store
My eyes have seen better days
All is quiet in my heart when all I want to do is make some noise

Forever Young...

A friend of mine today said something a lot of people often say but it made me think about the way things are going in my life at the moment. What he said was simply "Live for today". I've never been good at truly living for the moment. I always think about the consequences and what can and probably will happen. At the moment my head is so messed up and I feel like I have no true direction in my life. All I know is that I don't want to get caught up in the rat race of life. The 9 - 5 life is not the life for me and something I will never go into unless I truly have to. The moral of the story is that I (and we as people) should start living for the now and stop living for tomorrow. It's hard considering my current mind set but not impossible. I have a short time left at Uni and I don't want to look back and regret not making the most of my time here. It has been a fantastic journey. I have been blissfully happy and I have seen the dark side of depression. But it's an adventure, an adventure I need to start enjoying while it's happening.

"I wanna be forever young"

-- Tom RDD

turn you back and run

I've been going through a pretty rough time as of late. My mind has literally been a minefield. I've been dealing with apathy, anxiety, self doubt, self deprecation and some other pretty bad things which apparently all point to one thing. What triggered this? I have my theories but nothing I can pin point and say "THAT is the reason I'm feeling like this".

For those of you who haven't experienced apathy before just be glad you haven't. Over the last few months my apathy has grown from simply not being enthused about anything to literally being void of emotion. I put a smile on and pretend everything is fine but beneath I feel far from OK. Feeling worthless and that you're insignificant is something almost everyone will go through but that coupled with no regard for your own well being is a dangerous combination. Today, however has been a good day. The sun has been shining and for the first time in a long time I was up quite early and not feeling like shit. I spent most of my day hanging out with my best friend just messing around (he started drinking at 10, what a soldier). Going outside refreshed me and helped put things into perspective. I still feel a lot of apathy towards almost every aspect of my life, but something about the sun shining put me in as good as mood you can be in when you don't really feel emotion. I just have to hope that it gets better from here on out.

Apologies for the vent but sometimes writing things down just helps clear my head.

Peace, love and harmony.

-- Tom RDD

show me something, show me anything

I am so sick of this apathy and all the things it's doing to me