As anyone who knows me well will know I'm not one for really writing about my own negative emotions for people to see and read especially when it comes to my personal life, To be honest I find slightly selfish and self obsessive, and if anyone wanted to know what was really going on in my head they would ask. Even though I hear nobody saying "What's on your mind Tom?" I can't help but want to get something of my chest. Over the last week or so I've felt so damn empty and numb and I keep clutching at straws to try and come up with an answer as to why. I guess it's only natural to try and find an answer especially if you feel guilty about something or don't fully understand why you feel a certain way, the latter of which is certainly true for me. I haven't found an answer and there's part of me that's not sure if I want to. What if that answer is something I'm not ready for or something I'm not going to like? Assuming there even is an answer. Maybe it's just part of the human Psyche to block things out as if to protect you from yourself. Either way this sensation of feeling numb and not really feeling any sense of emotion, be they good or bad, is really starting to wear me down. Maybe my problem is logically trying to find an answer to something that is illogical but whatever the reason I really hope it doesn't continue as feeling as if you're void of emotion and with no seeming way of expressing yourself which makes things seem much worse. Which is why I have chosen to divulge my predicament on here hoping that it will somehow help matters. Fingers crossed.
-- Tom RDD
Monday, 16 November 2009
As you can probably tell as of late I can't find anything to write about so I just keep putting videos up that interest me. Hopefully soon I will find the motivation to actually write something interesting...
-- Tom RDD