Saturday, 21 November 2009

Are we getter closer or getting more lost?

As anyone who knows me well will know I'm not one for really writing about my own negative emotions for people to see and read especially when it comes to my personal life, To be honest I find slightly selfish and self obsessive, and if anyone wanted to know what was really going on in my head they would ask. Even though I hear nobody saying "What's on your mind Tom?" I can't help but want to get something of my chest. Over the last week or so I've felt so damn empty and numb and I keep clutching at straws to try and come up with an answer as to why. I guess it's only natural to try and find an answer especially if you feel guilty about something or don't fully understand why you feel a certain way, the latter of which is certainly true for me. I haven't found an answer and there's part of me that's not sure if I want to. What if that answer is something I'm not ready for or something I'm not going to like? Assuming there even is an answer. Maybe it's just part of the human Psyche to block things out as if to protect you from yourself. Either way this sensation of feeling numb and not really feeling any sense of emotion, be they good or bad, is really starting to wear me down. Maybe my problem is logically trying to find an answer to something that is illogical but whatever the reason I really hope it doesn't continue as feeling as if you're void of emotion and with no seeming way of expressing yourself which makes things seem much worse. Which is why I have chosen to divulge my predicament on here hoping that it will somehow help matters. Fingers crossed.

-- Tom RDD


  1. It's ironic how you claim not to be one for sharing personal emotions and feelings, yet you choose to write about them in a blog post which is just about as non-private as you can get.

    As for feeling 'numb'... we're all human and we all go through times when we feel shit. There may not be one specific cause- perhaps you are stressed, or events are affecting you more at the moment than they usually would do; maybe something happened at this time which is making you more vunurable than usual. Even just the beginning of winter or a viral infection can bring about the blues in some people. Unless the moods are reoccuring, last for long periods of time or are having a signifiant impact on your ability to function the best solution is probably just to accept them, maybe be a bit kinder to yourself, and wait until you feel better again. Chances are you probably will.

    I'd also tentatively suggest that it might be better for you to enlist support from one or two people you know you can trust, rather than announcing your feelings to the world. That way you're more likely to receive genuine care from people who really know you, which is what truly matters; not random opinions from people who read your blog.

  2. I agree with anonymous, thats exactly what I was thinking right, Ive read a couple a ya blogs now and the only real prescription I can offer is cheer the fack up, life aint that bad mate

  3. Firstly, I really am not one to go on about my personal life, I may rant or vent at times over bigger issues but rarely over my own life. Anyway the only reason I chose to express the way I was feeling on here was to get my feelings off my chest, I know it's non-private and anyone who chooses to can read it but I honestly wasn't looking for sympathy or for people to write something it just seemed like a good idea to write down how I felt. However I thank you for your sugestions.