Being alone comes in many forms I find. Being alone when you're in a group of friends is by the far the worst I feel. Not because your friends are excluding you in anyway but because your mind just cannot cope. It's easy to get lost in a crowed and I think this is the loneliest place to be. Surrounded by friends but still down in the dumps wishing you could be somewhere else. My friends make me happy, very happy, but still that familiar sense of depression creeps in and I need to be alone to get my head around it. But being alone is so lonely I find myself wishing myself to be around friends even though I know as soon as I am I will go back to the first state. It's a very complex situation. I'm usually a very optimistic person which is why I think being sad hits me so hard. But this time things are different. "Goodbye" means being alone but being together again is something to strive to, something that gives me passion and direction. It's hard to believe my first academic year is over but I long for it to go to quicker so I can be in the arms of the girl I love. But when I look back in years to come I will regret wishing it to go faster. These are years of my life and everyday is a step closer to the next big adventure.
Sorry for the fragmented entry. It's been a while and I wanted to write something but words and thoughts don't always come in nifty little sentences. This entry is pure thought on paper.
peace, love and respect.
-- Tom RDD
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