Today I went to see a friend I haven't seen in perhaps 2 years. He is and always has been one my closest friends. I first met him 10 years ago when starting secondary school. Since then we've been the best of friends, but like all friendships it changed when I went to University. As much as I regret not seeing much of him since starting Uni it was great to see him today and have a catch up. So that was all good.
However, being in his home town brought back so many memories. It was the town I spent much of my teen years messing around in, I spent my college years there and it is those college years that have put a downer on my mood. I walked past the building where I poured my heart and soul into acting and felt nothing but sorrow. I walked through the field where I spent time with friends and grew closer to the girl who ultimately become my girlfriend for the next 4 years. I guess it is these memories that bring this self pity in my mind. It all feels like a life time ago. The happiness, the innocence, times I will never get back, moments I can only relive in my mind. I've never been much good at living in the present and walking through a town where so much of my life has played out was tough especially in my current situation. It all stems from what is currently going on in my personal life and I really do feel like I'm being torn apart by everything I feel.
The below is a quote I love and although it is part of a fictional story it can be put into so many different contexts.
"Sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something" -- Sam, Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers
so say we all
-- Tom RDD